Setbacks Defined

Setbacks are defined as slowing the progress of, hindering or delaying. It is anything that makes YOU feel a change in progress.

I think sometimes we discredit our setbacks because we don’t think they meet the “criteria” or we compare our experience to someone else. We struggle to give ourselves permission to face setbacks. Or even to recognize our setbacks at all. But if we place how we’re feeling under the rug, we miss the lessons we can learn. The lessons that come from the growing pains.

We fight with our human nature to hold onto hope when things feel uncertain. We wonder how to show up where God has placed us when we feel disqualified and discouraged. If you are finding yourself in the middle of a setback, I hope the following questions can help get the conversation started. No setback comes with a set of rules or a timeline for how to get through it. Some setbacks will not make sense to us on this side of Heaven. And that’s okay.

Take some time to write down your answers, pray about them and talk about them with someone you trust. In the era of the highlight reel, it can feel like you are the only one wrestling. Can I assure you of something? We all have setbacks. You are not alone!

Question 1: How Do I *Actually* Feel About This Setback?

When a setback strikes, cue the introspection. It’s an opportunity to look inside and see what emotions bubble up to the surface. Our emotions get shuffled up easily – even on our best days. It’s easy to miss what we are actually feeling when we’re overwhelmed (or not paying attention).

You can feel shocked, sad, unsure, curious AND hopeful all at the same time. Confusing, right? Taking the time to untangle each one – one by one? It makes a difference in being able to name how the setback is affecting you. It helps give you permission to be feeling what you are feeling without needing to justify WHY you are feeling that way.

After taking some time to really think it over, perhaps you will see the thread that ties each emotion to the other. Maybe they are more connected and less confusing than you think.

Prompt: Start by listing out everything you're feeling. No filter needed. No explanation required.

Question 2: What Do I Do About This Setback?

You’ve got a list of your emotions. Now what? With every setback comes an opportunity to change direction. It can be difficult to get to the place of willingly doing so, especially if you’re experiencing disappointment or grief. There is no rush to feel ready. But what are some simple things you can do to help yourself through this setback?

Is it talking to someone you trust? Saying a proper goodbye to the future you thought you were heading towards? Writing out a prayer you continue to pray daily because finding new words feels hard? Choosing one small thing to help you make new strides is actually a BIG thing. Even if it feels slow and daunting, you are still moving!

Prompt: Do a brainstorm of some things you can do about this setback. It doesn't need to be big. In fact, the simpler the better. 

Question 3: What Beauty Can Be Found In This Setback?

There is a lot of beauty to be found when we allow ourselves to sit, and even wrestle, with the shifting tides. When I think about my recent setback as something the Lord has for me, it helps me find a fresh perspective. Even our toughest setbacks shine a light on this beautiful truth: the Lord is near and present. He will never leave or forsake us. He sees the bigger picture that we cannot see. Embracing beauty doesn’t discredit the hard, it just helps us lean into gratitude. And once we start counting our blessings, we realize how much there is to be thankful for.

Prompt: Write out a list of things that you are grateful for. There is so much beauty to be found if we let ourselves see it.

Final Thoughts About Setbacks

When I think about my recent setback, I think about how I would have never willingly put myself in this position. I’m going in a new direction I would not have picked for myself. But the fact that God chose it for me? I have confidence His plan is the better than the one I would have chosen for myself. It has taken some time, but I’m realizing there is likely something important I would have missed out on if it weren’t for this setback. And I can truly say I’m eager to see what God has ahead – even in my own uncertainty!

Are you wrestling with worry because of a setback? I wrote this blog post and have this worry detox workbook if you would like to dive in a little deeper!

How do you feel about this quote? “Setbacks are setups for what is next“. Take it if it’s helpful – toss it out the window if it’s not!

You are loved!

The post 3 Simple Questions To Ask Yourself About A Setback appeared first on The Sweet Simple Home.

Here’s the thing sweet friend, worry hovers over every part of motherhood. From the moment the line shows positive to beyond. We cannot always help the worries that find their way in but I do believe that we can simplify the weight of those worries.

Here are 7 ways how to worry less as a Mom:

1. Know where to put your worries

Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

If you’ve ever gone portaging, you know how heavy your gear can get. Especially when you’ve been hiking for hours. Imagine if someone came up alongside the path and offered to carry it for you. Would you insist that you can do it on your own even though your legs feel like they could give out? Or would you humbly take them up on their offer and rest in the weight falling off of your shoulders?

I know how hard it is to give up worry – especially if you’re like me and have a hard time “burdening” others. There is no such thing as burdening God. He never intended for us to carry worry on our own. He wants us to live a life free from worry. We can go to him with our worries, both big and small, in prayer and He will carry them for us.

2. God cares for your child more than you!

It’s hard to imagine, right? God loves your child more than even you ever could. This truth helps me worry less because I know I can always count on Him. Let God care for you by taking the worry. Let God care for your children because He loves them infinitely more than you could ever know.

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast your cares on the Lord because He cares for you". 

3. Get off the worry wheel

None of us are perfect. We are all guilty of causing worry without meaning to. There are no shortage of Mom stories and unsolicited advice to go around. Try to find your exit strategy if you find yourself going around and around again on the worry wheel while conversing with others. This can be as simple as changing the topic or internally proclaiming: this opinion is based on their own life experience not mine. I have learned that sometimes I need to hold back what I share, not because I don’t want to be open and vulnerable, but because getting caught up in worry wheel is hard to escape from (and my spinning out can also cause unnecessary worry to someone else).

4. Set boundaries on social media

Social media can fuel worry as a Mom. I wrote a snippet about my history with social media here. I have learned to be careful not to let social media get the best of me. Social media can be an amazing source of inspiration and community but it can also stir up worry you do not need. Don’t hesitate to step away (especially in the seasons that feel extra heavy). Lean into your support system outside of social media – the ones that are in it with you, know you and can help build you up!

5. Hug your little ones

Hug them close. When your worries come, squeeze them. Talk to them. Pull them in tight. Rub your belly. Holding our children is medicine for the worried soul! Try it!

6. Only take on today

As Matthew 6:34 says, "do no worry about tomorrow". 

Be here, right now. Are there worries to come? Yup. Is there anything you can do about those worries today? Nope. We do not do ourselves or our children any good by worrying about tomorrow (preaching to myself here, too!).

7. Give grace in the process

Giving over worry is a process. Even as I type this, I am reminding myself to lay ALL of my worries down (including those little ones I let sneak in). Worry is a powerful thing. But you know what’s more powerful? The ability God has given us to overcome! We will be learning, and relearning, to give over our worries for the rest of our days. I hope you know that you are never alone. Every Mama walks the worry road – it’s what we decide to do with the worry that matters.

Looking for more encouragement? Sign up to get your FREE worry detox!

Always cheering you on!

The post 7 Ways To Worry Less As A Mom appeared first on The Sweet Simple Home.